1) At a distance (strangers as the victim)
2) Intimate (the "frenemies" dynamic)
Women mock total strangers.
A woman with 3 children in tow, struggling in the rain, crosses the street. "Nice poncho” -- emphasis on PONCHO, an especially neon one. It's basically saying “Oh, I know you’re wet and miserable and just want to make a practical choice by wearing a plastic headdress, but you look ridiculous!! HAHAHA.”
Women get drunk and fight.
And not just any fighting. It far exceeds the hair pulling and slap throwing that once was. Women throw shoes -- heavy, four-inch ones. Do not underestimate the weight of a Steve Madden wedge. This is a weapon.
Women repond to conflict with anger directed at parties with 0% responsibility for or relation to said conflict.
Where are my keys? Have you seen them? I had them in the gym. I saw a woman walk by the stool where I frivolously left them unguarded. I bet she took them! She definitely did! That bitch stole my keys! She needs to be evicted immediately.
Stranger bitchyness.
But what about the intra-friendship bitch vibe? It's really the worst kind. Why is the word “frenemy” even part of our vernacular? What is this aggresive, insecure, downright vicious dynamic?
Women talk about each other. Judge each other -- and not just on choice of jeans. They judge passions and love lives and life-modeling choices .
Did you hear that she wants to be a singer? OMG ridiculous. That is not, like, a career. Good luck on that one, honey! PaaaTHETic.
Women take pleasure in pity.
Ya know, she wants to hang out tonight, but I so am not in the mood to see her. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl. I just don't want her to come. It's not like I'm hoping for a plane crash or something. Of course not! I would never! Just like...a stomach flu.
It's crazy. It's also insubstantial and obnoxious and I hate it.
I also wonder why: a validation for the female ego, sucked dry from self-loathing masochism? Twisted sense of humor? Or is there just some bitch muscle that twitches when too much philantrophic behavior is demonstrated?
What is wrong with women? Why are we like these? Dudes don’t do this. So they don't have the cleanest record when it comes to treating the ladies right and there is plenty of douchebagery to go around. But when was the last time a guy raised an eyebrow at his bro’s hat selection?
Where is the love, ladies? Where is the LOVE?
