Women Are Bitches

While I've witnessed this female flaw manifested in many ways, let us focus on a simple portrayal of bitcyness in the following two forms:
1) At a distance (strangers as the victim)

2) Intimate (the "frenemies" dynamic)


Women mock total strangers.
A woman with 3 children in tow, struggling in the rain, crosses the street. "Nice poncho” -- emphasis on PONCHO, an especially neon one. It's basically saying “Oh, I know you’re wet and miserable and just want to make a practical choice by wearing a plastic headdress, but you look ridiculous!! HAHAHA.”

Women get drunk and fight.
And not just any fighting. It far exceeds the hair pulling and slap throwing that once was. Women throw shoes -- heavy, four-inch ones. Do not underestimate the weight of a Steve Madden wedge. This is a weapon.

Women repond to conflict with anger directed at parties with 0% responsibility for or relation to said conflict.

Where are my keys? Have you seen them? I had them in the gym. I saw a woman walk by the stool where I frivolously left them unguarded. I bet she took them! She definitely did! That bitch stole my keys! She needs to be evicted immediately.

Stranger bitchyness.



But what about the intra-friendship bitch vibe? It's really the worst kind. Why is the word “frenemy” even part of our vernacular? What is this aggresive, insecure, downright vicious dynamic?

Women talk about each other. Judge each other -- and not just on choice of jeans. They judge passions and love lives and life-modeling choices .

Did you hear that she wants to be a singer? OMG ridiculous. That is not, like, a career. Good luck on that one, honey! PaaaTHETic.

Women take pleasure in pity.

Ya know, she wants to hang out tonight, but I so am not in the mood to see her. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl. I just don't want her to come. It's not like I'm hoping for a plane crash or something. Of course not! I would never! Just like...a stomach flu.

It's crazy. It's also insubstantial and obnoxious and I hate it.

I also wonder why: a validation for the female ego, sucked dry from self-loathing masochism? Twisted sense of humor? Or is there just some bitch muscle that twitches when too much philantrophic behavior is demonstrated?
What is wrong with women? Why are we like these? Dudes don’t do this. So they don't have the cleanest record when it comes to treating the ladies right and there is plenty of douchebagery to go around. But when was the last time a guy raised an eyebrow at his bro’s hat selection?

Where is the love, ladies? Where is the LOVE?

A lunch for Ree (and the rest)

Here is my official entry to Pioneer Woman's current contest. The challenge: Design a make-ahead lunch meal for a dozen or so feasting patrons to enjoy. The prize: an object of desire for really anyone with a kitchen and a passion for pastels, a KitchenAid Mixer. YES!

Orzo Pasta Salad
A recipe in our fam. Flavorful, light, and easily consumable for a good 4 days following its preparation.
Ingredients:

• 3 cups uncooked orzo
• 10 tbsp olive oil (a little less if you use the oil from the sundried tomatoes)
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
• 3/4 cup chopped sundried tomatoes, oil-packed
• 1/2 cup kalamata olives, pitted and chopped
• 1 cup chopped basil
• 1 cup grated parmesan
• 2 cups chopped raddicio
• 3 - 4 cloves chopped garlic
• salt & pepper to taste
• Handful of fresh herbs, chopped (suggestion: use thyme and rosemary)
• 1 cup toasted pine nuts

Directions:

• Cook the orzo according to al dente directions on box.
• Rinse with cold water in colander to stop cooking, drain, transfer to large bowl.
• Add olive oil, balsamic, sundried tomatoes and stir until pasta is coated with dressing.
• Add all other ingredients except pinenuts. Stir well.
• Add pinenuts just before serving and stir well.

Eggplant Chicken Parmesan
This came from today's post on NPR's Kitchen Window. I'm choosing it as my go-to recipe for the meal because, as a culinary novice and wannabe, I don't have the experience or talent to have ever crafted my own eggplant parm, but if you have, feel free to hone your own! For the recipe noted here, I think it's best to keep it basic and exclude the chicken. Ree, like me, is an eggplant lover so why mask the taste of that delectable, underrepresented vegetable?

Ree's Very Own Baked Fudge
Yum freakin O. And one of her lunching ladies is pregnant. Soooo yeah, it'd probably be a disservice NOT to end the meal with ramkins full of fudge.

And now I'm starving.

Notes:
~I am so envying this meal right now. My meal for the night? Meatloaf. Not that there's anything wrong with that; meatloaf is amazing. And comforting. And I am so ready to be comforted by pounds of beef and onion and ketchup. SO ready!
~I'm also SUCH a blogger novice and wannabe that I am actually pretty impressed with myself for learning and demonstrating (thrice in this post, baby!) how to title links so my posts are not harassed by things resembling http://www.superblognoob.com/09660361454086313&postID=5103917446312989089

Hi. I'm new here.

I have a problem. I've decided to contribute to and soak up this so-called blogosphere because people are interested and life is interesting and I want to revel in this great world of shared public examination of it all. But the things I find particularly entertaining, those things which I anticipate being the subjects of my writing and reading, are...ridiculously common.

Just look here. Here are some of the things I find stimulating and fabulous:

food

movies

television (both trashy and rich in content)

photography

social commentary

Dilemma ensues.
How will I EVER exhaustively, or even adequately, explore the opinions out there on topics so broad and so standard and so ordinary that their abundance is bursting at the bandwidth seams?
And is it even possible that I am able to offer some unique perspective on these subjects that have already been spun, speckled, and spiffed up by a gaggle of gifted bloggers worldwide?

Or maybe that's just it; that the generality of these topics afford the opportunity to seize a new position from the infinite possible ones.

Well, I guess I'll find out.

And so it goes!